Yeah, so hopefully Mike will still come over today. I'm going to tell Jon we can't go to the Mest concert. I feel so shitty now about letting him tag along with my sisters, aunt and myself right now. Even though it's my family and I, I guess my mom is right on this one to. What the hell. How does she always know? I feel kind of bad about telling Jon he could come, and now going to tell him.. yup NO. Cuz he's wicked excited about seeing Mest. I love Mest.. "What's the d..d..d..dilio?" What is the dilio.. seriously.

As of this moment, I do not know what I want, I do not know when I want it, I do not know why I want it or where I want it. I do not know what I am doing, how to do anything and why I should bother doing something. You know what? I AM FINE WITH THAT But you know what's not cool? Pissing of the boy. Not cool at all. Nope nope nope (ducky, land before time.. anyone?)

I don't know if I have been going about my life in the completely wrong way. I'm one of those girls who hates most other girls. I do. Can not stand women, even though I am one, I hardly understand the others most of the time. And yes I have broken a nail, and NO it doesn't really suck all that much.

I was thinking of how many "friends" I actually have:
Steph V
Steph P
Niki
Carrie
Ariel
Emily
Jon

Now, the only one of these I trust with everything is Steph V. So I guess she is my so called "best friend?" One of the two I have here then. But before? It was like.. no girls. It was something like:

Yoshi
Seb
Luke
Chris
Saeb
Mahdi
Omar
Amr
Sami
Ramez
Lena

One chick? Some how my life has reversed. I don't care much, because it is cool the way it is now, even if I was a hell of a lot closer to all these guys than I would ever get with these girls besides stephie V. I like that Stephie V.

I don't know what I am searching for. Maybe some ultimate absolution to make me feel better for what I have allegedly "done". I'm so confused. Mom don't talk to me ever again! Grr.