Seany starts school tomorrow, it just sucks. I'm going to, well no I'm not going to have NOTHING to do during the day, but I won't be able to be with him. That part sucks. I mean I'll be working, etc.. Today was terrible and sad..
I had a really crappy stomach ache because of my cramps and I was just dead.. Barely able to move.. I worked 11-5, Sean has to work 4-8.. completely trashish. He stopped in the store early around 12 to just see me because he knew I wasn't feeling well.. I could have just cried because that hug felt so good. Then he came back again around 3ish to see me because he missed me, I missed him as well of course.. He gave me a card
I love it when he takes a moment to just freeze the day and do something nice like that. The other day he got me this bag I just loved, it's a bag made of satin, shaped like a strat guitar, it's just so kickin'. Thirty bucks that bag was, but it didn't mean half as much as that probably 99 cent card.. with a sad bumble bee on the front and words inside reading 'I miss my honey." with the word 'honey' crossed out and the words 'good stuff' written in their place, because Sean doesn't call me honey, or hun, or babe, or baby, or sweet heart or my love or anything cliche or just gay sounding, you know like pookums.. He calls me 'good stuff' and you know what? I love it. Not half as much as I love you though Sean. :sigh: My feelings overwhelm me sometimes. He didn't write much in it, and none of it was funny, both surprising since that seems to be a trait Sean possesses, the ability to stretch anything simple into an extravagant array of emotive linguistics
Sean is the man."Sarah,
I love you so much,
Sean."
We've seen eachother for hours and hours ever since we met, every day, except for those few I was in NYC.. It's going to be so hard. I only get to see him for an hour or so today, that just stinks so much.
I'm going to miss hours and hours on the sofa down stairs just looking at eachother, being warm and just existing. I'm going to miss talking on the phone till 4am.. about everything and nothing. I'm going to miss making you breakfast during the week. I'm going to miss hitting up the walmart at like 11:30 at night for no reason. I'm going to miss days like today at work when I was hurting and I needed you and you were there because you love me. You won't be there so often any more and it hurts, but I know that doesn't change the fact that you love me and I swear.. if need be, I will walk out of work and drive to Salem High just because I want a hug, I don't care who tries to stop me either, be it Pam my boss or some patheticly Liberal excuse for an 'educator' at the school. I'm going to miss so much of the summer starting tonight, but I'm just so glad I had it.
Sean, I've gotten to know you so very well, inside and out lol.. I know what makes you tick, I know what makes you smile, I know what tickles, and I've accidently nailed you in the "stuff" a good many times.. I've gotten comfortable, I've found my way around you and your personality. I'd like to think I know all there is, but what a sad lie that would be for me to make. This summer was just amazing.
People say make every day like your last, live it up better than the day before.. No one does that. If you ask people what was the best part of their lives, they'd say sometime when they were young and alive and so on and so forth, sometime long ago.. I'm telling you, Sean, you taught me how to make every day better than the day before.
If you'd ask me what was the best day of my life, I'd have to say it was today. God gave me today, and God gave me Sean. I hate to sound crazy and insane, but I'm not letting you go ever. I love you and you are the last man I'll ever say it to and the first person I've ever meant it to.
I look forward to an interesting school year, for the both of us. With ups and downs and irritations and silly fights and after those fights.. making out.. wait I mean up..
Well who knows what I mean.I'm hoping we can just grow this year, hurt together and build eachother up, do homework together, have you help me study for my Comparative Government class together.. Since you'll probably know it all anyway..
I just want to know that we'll still have time for eachother. I need that security, especially at the beginning. I'm so terrified of starting school I could just burst. I don't even have work tomorrow, I will be besides myself. I'll probably drive to the church and hunt down Josh, or Pastor Milas, I'll probably need someone to talk to.. I need a little God guidance anyway about school and all that.
Here's to the best day ever, and the best summer ever.. And here's to everyday together being the best day ever, till we die. Seany, you're my best friend, my helper, the person I can vent to, beat up, love, debate and belong with, because I'm certain I belong with you and you with me. You're my magic, my excitement, my adventure
God be with us all, right?God's given me so much that I can't believe that He gave me you as well. Then!!! I think well with God all things are possibly so I might as well just go on and believe it right
Oh, and I just want to end on this note:
"Yeah... I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday...."
